Saturday, March 1, 2014

A phone call a day keeps the doctor away

Today I found a renewed appreciation for something very simple: A phone call. I was sitting on the couch at my parents' house trying to simultaneously write a paper, browse Twitter and watch the Carolina basketball game on TV when my phone rang. It was my close friend and old next door neighbor who I hadn't heard from in a long time. I went outside and we talked for about 20 minutes, mainly catching up on each other's lives. It wasn't until after I resumed my position on the couch that I realized how long it had been since I'd had a real phone conversation. Sure, I call people all the time to make plans or ask a quick question, but not to really talk. Most of my catching up on friends' lives occurs in the form of texts, Facebook chats or casual stalking on social media. I found myself feeling strangely happy after the phone call, which got me thinking.

It's becoming more and more rare in today's communication to actually hear someone's voice. There are so many easier, but much more passive, ways to stay connected online. We can visit our friends' Facebook pages and instantly get a pretty good idea of what they've been up to, or we can go to our Twitter feeds and see what people are doing in real time. But that is so much less satisfying. New social media tools that purport to make us more connected are popping up left and right, so it seems like we should be closer and more connected to our friends than ever before. But the effect has been a bit more counterintuitive, and studies have shown that superconnectedness is actually contributing to loneliness. The more we build our social webs online, the less we're having meaningful interactions IRL, which are much more rewarding. People also tend to post about the most glamorous and exciting aspects of their lives, rendering the people we're so "connected" to on social media idealized depictions of themselves. Real life is always going to be messier than the lives we choose to put on display, and sorting through the messy stuff requires real, meaningful conversations with people we care about. I'm so constantly bombarded by posts and pins and status updates that I get this false sense of fulfillment, and forget that nothing replaces hearing someone's voice.

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